


House and Home

by achievemenhunter



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Pocket Lads
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-07
Updated: 2014-08-28
Packaged: 2018-02-12 04:59:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2096655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/achievemenhunter/pseuds/achievemenhunter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Ryan moved into his new house, he wasn't aware that he'd be sharing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea about the process behind buying a house forgive me
> 
> Another for the giveaway (almost done, just one more prompt to go!). Pocket-sized Lads AU, just a big bundle of fluff. Enjoy!

If you asked the Lads about how they came to exist, they wouldn't really be able to give you an answer. All three of them just seemed to pop into existence one day, fully formed, fully clothed and roughly as tall as a can of soft drink.

 

The only sentient beings they knew were each other; they'd never seen a human before, despite essentially being miniaturised versions of a normal person, and the fact that they actually lived in a regular house.

 

That was to say, they lived in the attic of a regular house, one that had been doing very poorly on the housing market; while spacious enough for a small family to live comfortably, it was so old and dilapidated that the vast majority of prospective homebuyers didn't even give it a second glance. No one had even wanted to take a tour of the property in quite some time. The Lads didn't know it, but their home was less than a week away from simply being torn down, and the lot auctioned off instead.

 

So they didn't know that they should have been glad to see the real estate agent and his client enter their house. Instead, when they went to investigate the sound of the front door opening - a journey that took several minutes of journeying through the house's walls and ventilation system - they were terrified to spot the two comparatively giant people traipsing around in the room below them.

 

They were quick to scurry back to the safety of their little corner of the attic, tucked away behind some boxes forgotten by the home's previous owners. They'd done pretty well for themselves, having managed to scavenge enough scraps of fabric and soft material to fashion a relatively comfortable bed for the three of them. Surrounded by boxes that significantly cut down on the draughts that swirled through the attic whenever it got windy, they were actually quite cosy at night.

 

Gavin had been the most reluctant to return to their hidey-hole. Although frightening, the giant beings also enthralled him. Michael had to drag him away, admonishing the wild-haired Lad for being so foolhardy. "C'mon," he'd hissed, keeping his voice as low as possible. "No way someone that big is going to be friendly. They'd probably step on one of us and not even notice."

 

~* * *~

 

"As you can see, it's a bit of a fixer-upper," the real estate agent told his client, Ryan, his tone chipper and bright, his sunny smile matching the burnished copper colour of his hair. Ryan was slightly transfixed by the way it seemed to collect all the light in the room, glinting every time the real estate agent turned his head. "But it's a generously sized plot of land, and the house itself is very roomy, if you plan on there being a Mrs. Haywood." The real estate agent raised his eyebrows suggestively.

 

Ryan let out a good-natured chuckle. "I wouldn't rule out the possibility. I'd rather make sure I actually have a house first, though - one step at a time, right?" He wandered through the house, the real estate agent trailing after him. Ryan wasn't usually one for huge displays of optimism, but he knew that, despite the house needing certain things fixed, or in some areas replaced entirely, plus pretty much every room needing a new coat of paint, he was already in love with the building.

 

"You said you've already had a site inspection done on this place?"

 

"That we have," the copper-haired man confirmed. "We always get everything pre-checked in older homes like this one, just to make sure that the property is safe. The damages here are almost entirely cosmetic."

 

Ryan looked at the peeling wallpaper, the flaky paint, the stained wooden floorboards. He smiled. "I'd like to take a look at the inspection report before deciding anything, but if everything looks alright, then I'd say you've got yourself a sale."

 

~* * *~

 

Within no time, it seemed, Ryan had signed a myriad of sheets of paper that summed up the fact that he now owned a house. Moving in didn't take long; he didn't own a lot of stuff, and everything had fit into the truck he'd rented for the move in one go. He stored most of his things in the attic so they'd be out of the way during the renovations, unaware of the three tiny Lads, shivering and scared, tucked away out of sight less than a few metres from where he was dumping boxes of his belongings. He even noticed the tatty, dusty old boxes that disguised the Lads' bed, but resolved to deal with them when the house was a little bit more in order.

 

He'd taken a few days off work for the move, and to start fixing the house. In essence, he'd given himself a five-day weekend, and he intended to maximise the time he had available.

 

He started in the bedroom and worked his way out, covering the floor with drop cloths before setting about stripping the old paint from the walls and ceiling. The sound of the rhythmic rasp of a paint scraper, interspersed with blasts from Ryan's heat gun as he softened some particularly stubborn patches of paint, filled the room as he worked, whistling quietly under his breath. All the noise frightened the Lads, because they didn't understand what it meant.

 

Gavin, while by no means the bravest of the group, was still the most curious about their apparent new housemate, and he dared to venture through the walls and vents to take a peek at what Ryan was doing, before scurrying back to his friends. He reported to them that the giant was scraping at the walls of the house for some reason. Michael declared him insane, and urged that Gavin drop his fascination with the stranger.

 

~* * *~

 

By the end of Monday, Ryan had finished painting all the rooms, and had taken a decent chunk out of the work that had to go into sanding the stains and scratches out of the hardwood floors, then applying a new finish. His bedroom was completed - he'd left his mattress and bedframe in the downstairs living room, enlisting the help of two of his work friends, Geoff and Jack, to haul the bed up the stairs once he was done. He'd placed a thick area rug in his room, both to keep his feet warm in the morning and to protect the floor from the feet of his bed. The three of them had gently lowered the bedframe onto the rug, still nearly dropping it at one point before it touched down safely. The floorboards of the downstairs area were all but finished, though the same could not be said for upstairs (and he had yet to even touch the stairs themselves).

 

All in all, he thought he'd made some satisfying progress. There was still plenty to do, of course - the kitchen and the bathrooms needed to be replaced entirely, although he was hiring professionals for that particular part of the renovations. While certainly handy enough to take care of the flooring and painting on his own, he knew he'd just end up breaking things if he tried to update those parts of the house by himself. But, considering he didn't drink alcohol, and subsequently didn't go out much, he was confident that he had enough free time to finish all that he could do personally for the interior within a few weeks. Pleased with himself despite the aches that had set in after five straight days of physical work, Ryan decided to call it a night a little early, falling asleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillow.

 

~* * *~

 

It wasn't until after the interior upgrades were all complete, several months later, that Ryan got his first inkling of the Lad's existence. Of course, when he heard the scrabbling of small feet in his ceiling - the sound made by the growing-slightly-careless Gavin, and his enduring interest in watching the giant man residing in the first two floors of the house - his first thought was not of tiny people living in his attic.

 

His first thought was that his new house had rats.

 

Fortunately, Ryan was the type to set up humane traps, rather than calling in an exterminator or putting out poison. He let himself into the attic, seeing as that was where the noise had come from, and set up several wire cage traps, with a little scrap of food in each one to entice the uninvited guests that had come into his home.

 

Michael started yelling as loud as he dared at Gavin when, as soon as Ryan had left the attic, the insatiably curious Lad dashed across the room to inspect the trap. Rather predictably, as soon as he went inside, it snapped shut behind him, making him cry out in distress.

 

"Michael, Ray!" he whispered fearfully. "Get me out!"

 

"I told you this would happen!" Michael hissed back as he and Ray darted forward.

 

Gavin sniffled. Then his head snapped up and he sniffed the air, whirling in place. His eyes landed on the morsel of food at the other end of the cage. As Michael and Ray worked at the pin holding the cage shut, Gavin crept towards the food - a cracker corner smeared liberally with peanut butter, but Gavin didn't know that. To him, it was strange and new and smelled utterly enticing. He picked it up.

 

"Gavin, don't touch that!" Michael snapped, eyeing the cracker fragment in Gavin's hands warily.

 

"Yeah, c'mon man, just put it down and get out of there. That thing could be dangerous," Ray added.

 

"Nah, it smells delicious," Gavin dismissed, walking towards them. They backed up a little as Gavin climbed out of the cage. "Oh, come on, have a whiff! I bet it tastes great. I don't know about you, but I'm sick of eating bugs. They're gross and it's a pain to catch them." He wiggled the cracker. "This is much easier."

 

"Tell me you're not going to try eating that." Michael's tone was incredulous. "You have no idea if it's poisonous or not!"

 

"It's fine, see?" Before they could stop him, Gavin scooped a handful of peanut butter from the cracker and stuffed it in his mouth. Ray and Michael gave him horrified looks as his eyes went wide. "You  _have_  to try this!" he declared around a mouth full of the sticky topping.

 

The two other Lads exchanged looks, waiting a few seconds to see if Gavin's face would go purple, his eyes bulging as his throat swelled up and stopped him from breathing. When that didn't happen, they tentatively took their own portions of peanut butter, and were soon exclaiming happily at the flavour, reaching back over as soon as their mouths were empty. The cracker was divvied up into three roughly equally sized pieces, which they then carried to their bed to continue their feast.

 

Needless to say, Ryan was rather perplexed when he checked the cages a few days later, only to find that the little cracker tidbits inside were gone, with no sign of the culprits. He cast his eyes helplessly around the attic, his gaze landing on the old boxes that concealed the Lad's sleeping area purely by coincidence.

 

He'd been meaning to go through those boxes for a while, to see if there was anything of value that the house's previous owners might want back. "Well, I'm up here now anyway," he muttered to himself, the floorboards creaking as he crossed the attic. The sound of his footfalls masked the Lads' panicked scramble for cover as the giant approached. Ryan knelt next to one of the boxes, just about to open it, when he caught sight of a scrap of fabric. Leaning over, he was more confused than ever to find a tiny, makeshift bed nestled between the boxes. He would have passed it off as some sort of remnant of a kid's toy, left there by the previous tenants, if not for the ramshackle DIY nature of the bed, and the clearly fresh crumbs scattered atop the rough blanket, which looked to be made of part of an old shirt. Ryan blinked, uncomprehending. "The hell is this?" he muttered, peering closer. He poked at the small bed, just to make sure it was real. He picked up the shirt-blanket, inspecting the faded design.

 

 _Probably a band t-shirt_ , he mused absently before he was startled by a sudden, shrill cry of, "Hey! That's ours, get your dirty hands off!"

 

Ryan's head whipped around, looking for the source of the voice. "Who said that?" he called out, alarm racing through him as he stood slowly, the piece of shirt still clutched between his fingers.

 

"Oh, so I'm not allowed to look at him, but you can just yell at him from the top of your lungs?" A second voice, indignant and distinctly British, retorted.

 

"Shut up, Gavin!" the first voice snapped. "He's stealing our stuff!"

 

"Show yourself!" Ryan demanded, trying to calm his thundering pulse. It was obvious now that the voices were coming from behind the stack of old boxes. He assumed that a couple of kids had snuck into his attic as a joke. It had to be - the stack wasn't big enough to conceal an adult, and the voices were too high-pitched to belong to anyone but children.  _How_  said children had managed to get into his attic without him noticing he had no clue, but it was the only explanation that made any sort of sense to him.

 

"…D'you have any more of those bits of food you put in the cages?" the British kid asked.

 

Ryan stared. "You've been taking the crackers from my rat traps?"

 

"Yeah, do you have any more?" a third voice asked. Ryan stared some more. Just how many kids  _were_  there behind those boxes?

 

"I, uh… I do. If I go grab some, will you come out?" He didn't much fancy the idea of simply trying to pull the kids out from behind the boxes. They'd just spook and scatter and then he'd have three panicking children running screaming around his attic. In all likelihood, at least one of them would trip and hurt themselves, and could even - god forbid - fall through the open attic hatch and sustain a serious injury.

 

"…Fine," the first voice agreed, still sounding suspicious of Ryan's intentions. Which Ryan thought was laughable, considering that the kids had broken into his house. Still, he obligingly left the attic, closing the hatch carefully behind him. He didn't want the kids to climb down and start running around his house.

 

He lathered three crackers up with generous amounts of peanut butter, putting them on a paper plate and carrying them back up to the attic. He sat it down in front of the boxes, then stepped back a few paces, sitting down.

 

Imagine his surprise when instead of the three children he was expecting, the three Lads peered hesitantly around the edge of one of the boxes.

 

"Wait, what?" he blurted, barely believing his eyes.

 

Michael folded his arms, placing himself in front of Ray and Gavin. "What're you looking at?"

 

"Tiny people," Ryan replied dumbly. "There's tiny people living in my attic."

 

" _Your_  attic? We were here first!" Michael tried to look imposing - and he actually succeeded to a much larger degree than Ryan thought should have been possible - but the effect was ruined by Ray and Gavin suddenly scampering past him, making a beeline for the plate.

 

"Am I going insane?" Ryan murmured in a daze as the two Lads closest to him fell ravenously upon the crackers.

 

"Goddammit." Michael bit his lip in consternation at Ray and Gavin's recklessness.

 

"Ah, c'mon, Michael." Ray's words were muffled around a faceful of peanut butter and crackers. "Food that you have to put in zero effort for is the best kind."

 

The curly-haired Lad sighed in defeat and joined his friends in demolishing the crackers.

 

"Can we live with you now?" Gavin asked Ryan hopefully once he'd eaten enough. The older man hadn't moved from his spot.

 

"Huh?"

 

Michael smacked Gavin on the back of the head. "What the hell, Gavin?"

 

"Ow, Michael!" Gavin whined, then redirected his attention towards Ryan. "Yeah, since you know we're here now and all, I thought it'd be nice to not have to stay in the attic anymore."

 

"Yeah, our bed up here is kind of crappy," Ray added, burping quietly and brushing some cracker crumbs from his shirt.

 

"You shut your mouth, Ray," Michael retorted. "Our bed's great."

 

"You're only saying that 'cause you made it."

 

"Hey, no need to fight," Ryan interjected, largely because he was in too much shock already to have to deal with his new tiny housemates getting into an argument. "I think you'd all be way safer moving into the house proper with me. I hate to think what'd happen to you guys if rats ever got up here, or anything like that." He stacked the remaining cracker bits on top of each other, sticking them together with the peanut butter. The Lads had eaten a disproportionate amount compared to their actual body size, and Ryan was able to pop the entire thing in his mouth in one go. He folded the paper plate and crammed it into his back pocket, chewing rapidly. "Here, hop up. I can carry you down." He knelt in front of them, offering them his hand, palm upwards.

 

Gavin was the first to clamber aboard, followed quickly by Ray. Michael muttered something under his breath and reluctantly joined them, scowling as he sat on Ryan's palm.

 

Ryan stood gingerly, cradling his laden hand against his chest. Even though there was three of them, Ryan barely felt like he was carrying anything. "I think I'll show you the kitchen first," he told them, carefully descending the ladder one-handed. "Seriously, if you guys were that excited for peanut butter, then soda is going to blow your minds."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This somehow became less about Pocket Lads and more about Ryan buying and refurbishing a house. I'm still not quite sure how that happened.
> 
> Oh, and I thought you might like to know - I imagine that in this AU, Ryan works with Geoff and Jack at some sort of software company or something. One day he mentions to them something that happened with the Lads - and of course, Geoff and Jack are confused as to who the hell Michael, Gavin and Ray are. So Ryan ends up panicking a little (because how do you say that there are three tiny people living in your house without sounding insane) and blurts out that they're his sons, because, really, it's close enough to the truth at that point anyway. Cue Jack and Geoff flipping their shit because "we've known you for years how come we didn't know you have three kids RYAN WHAT THE FUCK"


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Due to popular demand, here is a second chapter!

Jack and Ryan were lost in a fit of laughter, leaning against a break room table for support as Geoff regaled them with tales of babysitting his sister's children.

 

"So," Geoff forced the words out between giggles, "I'm sitting there with this bucket stuck on my head, and- and I can't see a goddamn thing, the kids're running around screaming while Griffon's trying to find something to get my big stupid head out of the bucket, and then one of the little assholes tackles me. And I still can't see, so of course I fall over and smack my head against the ground, and the bucket cracks down the side and comes off. Then the little shit just goes, 'you're welcome, Uncle Geoff' in the most goddamn smug tone a seven-year-old has ever spoken in the history of ever. Then-" he wheezed with laughter, setting Jack and Ryan off again. "Then Griffon shows up, and she's gotten a bottle of  _lube_ because she couldn't find anything else, and I'm just flat out on my ass next to this shattered bucket."

 

"I'm guessing that wasn't the end of it?" Jack grinned.

 

"You know me too well, Jack," Geoff smiled. "Of course, my sister decides that's the perfect time to come pick up the kids, and I'm still on the floor and Griffon's a little flustered, but she goes for the door anyway, and she's  _still holding the lube_. It's the first goddamn thing my sister notices and she's all, 'that better not be what I think it is', and goes off on this huge tirade that we've broken her trust and corrupted her children and on and on." He rubbed the back of his neck ruefully. "Took ages to calm her down enough to explain what had actually happened."

 

Jack chuckled, hearing the underlying fondness in Geoff's irritated words. "For what it's worth, I think you'd make a great dad, Geoff."

 

He shrugged. "Well, I can't say I haven't thought about it, but it's Griffon's decision in the end. Her body, after all."

 

Ryan chimed in to the conversation with a lazy grin. "I'm trying to picture Jack with kids now, but all I'm getting is a bunch of bearded children."

 

Jack tried to look offended as he stroked his beard. "You're just upset that I'm manlier than you are," he declared.

 

"Ah, must be it."

 

"What about you, Ryan?" Geoff asked. "Ever thought about settling down with someone and having a bunch of snot-nosed brats?"

 

The words were out of Ryan's mouth before he could even think to stop himself. "I think that Michael, Ray and Gav keep my hands full enough already."

 

Both Geoff and Jack froze, staring at Ryan, who suddenly looked like a deer caught in headlights.

 

"You have three kids?" Jack asked slowly.

 

Ryan cringed. "I, uh… kinda?"

 

 _" _You have three kids?!_ "_ Geoff screeched, drawing the attention of pretty much everyone else in the break room. Ryan sank into his seat under the weight of their stares. "You've worked with us for  _three years_  and you've never brought that up?!"

 

"I only got 'em a few months ago!" Ryan protested, mind racing as he desperately tried to come up with a reasonable excuse. If he told them the truth, they'd probably have him carted off to a mental institution. "There was a single mom on my dad's side of the family that I didn't really know, but apparently I was her closest living relative, so I ended up being nominated for custody of the kids when she died," he babbled, praying that they would be convinced. "I wasn't just gonna let them get sent off to foster care, they'd probably end up getting separated."

 

Geoff and Jack went quiet. "Sorry for your loss," Jack said softly.

 

Ryan felt a pang of guilt that they were feeling sympathy for him over the death of an imaginary relative. "It's okay. Like I said, I didn't know her that well."

 

"How're the boys taking it?" Geoff asked in a similar tone of voice, concern etched clearly onto his face.  _Jack's right_ , Ryan thought.  _He'd make a great dad_.

 

"They're… they're doing okay." Ryan nodded slowly. "From what I can tell, they didn't see her much - she was working a couple different jobs to make ends meet, so she didn't exactly have a lot of free time to spend with them."

 

Jack looked troubled. "It's not fair for them to be so young and have gone through so much already."

 

"…Yeah." Ryan forced down another flicker of guilt. "But they're tough kids, and they're very close, I'm sure they can stick it out as long as they're together."

 

"Man," Geoff shook his head in disbelief. "I can't believe you have  _three_  kids. I can't wait to meet 'em!"

 

Ryan's hastily crafted lie crumbled to pieces around him. "What?"

 

Geoff grinned, unaware of the real reason behind Ryan's trepidation. "I'm not saying to throw a giant party or anything. Y'know, just a nice dinner or something, just us, Griffon, Caiti, and the kids. Besides, we still haven't seen your new house yet. You said you'd have us over once you had the renovations done, and you've had them done how long now?"

 

"Three weeks," Ryan muttered.

 

"Exactly! We can all have dinner on Friday." Geoff nodded firmly to himself, a wide grin on his face.

 

Ryan's shoulders sagged, which Geoff took as a sign of victory. He let out a short yell and high-fived Jack, who laughed. Ryan sighed as they wrapped up their lunch break, wondering how in the hell he was going to explain to the Lads that four 'giants' were going to be visiting them.

 

~* * *~

 

"More people? Sounds top!" Gavin all but squealed in excitement, bouncing around on the kitchen countertop. Ray and Michael were less enthused.

 

"I don't like it," Michael said, eyes narrowed and arms folded, managing to look much more menacing than someone only a few inches tall should. "Why'd you go blabbing your big mouth about us to your friends, anyway? You're always nagging us to keep away from the windows and shit so that the neighbours won't see us, and then you go do that? Kind of a double standard there, Ryan."

 

"I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to," Ryan apologised sincerely. "I've just gotten so used to you guys being around, it just slipped my mind that this isn't exactly… normal. But my friends are good people, I swear. They wouldn't do anything to hurt you."

 

Ray gnawed at a chocolate chip from the cookie Ryan was sharing with them. "Not sure I trust your judgement on that. I mean, you put up with us, so your standards have gotta be pretty low."

 

Ryan smiled, knowing that Ray was being self-depreciating to be funny. "Well, you  _did_  live here before I even thought about moving in, I'd have to be some kind of asshole to kick you guys out." He rested his elbows against the bar, propping his chin up on his forearms so that he was eyelevel with the Lads. "Tell you what, how about when my friends get here, you three hide in that little box on the bookshelf in the living room. You can listen to them talking with me, and then when you realise they  _are_  nice, I can get you out and you can meet them."

 

Michael's arms were still folded. "And what if we decide that we still don't want to?"

 

With a small grin, Ryan replied, "I guess I'll just look like a crazy person talking to a box. But I'm sure you'll like them once you get to know them."

 

The curly-haired Lad frowned, looking indecisive. Ryan bit his lip, hoping that he would agree. Michael was the de facto leader of the tiny trio, and Ryan knew that if he declined Ryan's proposal, it would be near impossible to convince Gavin or Ray to go along with it either.

 

"…Fine," Michael replied grumpily, but softened a little at the delighted smile that spread across Ryan's face, and the way Gavin started up his happy bouncing again. "But if we think they're even a little bit off, we're not coming out of that box."

 

~* * *~

 

Ryan grinned into his dinner over a humorous story that Geoff and Griffon were sharing at the table, the mood light and happy. Ryan was glad that Geoff was keeping his more vulgar stories to himself, knowing that such tales would likely spark the Lads' mistrust - and also knowing that Geoff was probably restraining himself because he thought there were children in earshot.

 

There was a comfortable lapse in silence, filled with the sound of clinking utensils and the hearty enjoyment of food.

 

Comfortable for everyone but Ryan, of course, who, with nothing distracting him, was now quietly sweating with nervousness. He covered up his anxiety by shovelling some food into his mouth, willing his hands to stop trembling. With a concerted effort, they did, and Ryan kept his focus on looking normal.

 

"No offense, Ryan, but I had no idea you were such a good cook," Jack praised, swallowing a piece of pork.

 

Ryan blushed and smiled at the general chorus of agreement, ducking his head sheepishly.

 

"I mean, knowing you, it's probably people," Geoff snarked. "But, man, if it is, don't tell me. I don't want you to break the illusion." He took another bite. "'S delicious."

 

Ryan rolled his eyes, even though he cringed inwardly and prayed that the Lads understood that Geoff wasn't being at all serious. "Still making that joke, huh? Seriously, what is it about me that makes you think I'm a cannibal?"

 

Geoff shrugged sympathetically. "Sorry. You're just creepy, dude."

 

"It's probably because you're so reclusive in sharing information about yourself," Jack supplied. "Hell, we didn't even know until a couple days ago that you're a dad. Speaking of, you gonna invite the kids in? They must be starving by now, I'm surprised we can't hear them complaining."

 

Ryan's eyes flicked involuntarily to the box the Lads were camped out in.

 

"I, uh… sure. I'll get 'em now." He stood, wiping his slightly shaky hands on his jeans, and headed towards the bookcase. Everyone at the table gave him confused looks.

 

"…Ryan?" Geoff ventured. "Mind telling us why you're staring at the shelf?"

 

"I- yeah, give me a second." He flexed his fingers nervously, shielding the box from his guests' view before tipping back the lid, looking expectantly down at the Lads. They stared up at him for a moment, then Michael let out a quiet, long-suffering sigh, and nodded. A relieved smile broke out across Ryan's face, and he dipped his hand into the box. The Lads clambered aboard.

 

"Um, Ryan?" Jack asked trepidatiously. "What're you doing?"

 

Ryan took a deep breath and turned around. "Everyone, this is Michael, Gavin and Ray. Say hi."

 

Four sets of eyes stared at him uncomprehendingly. A few of them blinked a few times, just to make sure that their eyes weren't playing tricks on them and there were actually three tiny men perched on Ryan's palm.

 

Caiti was the first to break the silence. "Oh my gosh, they're adorable!"

 

Michael folded his arms, looking put out by the description. "You talk funny," he said rudely.

 

She was entirely unfazed. "I'm from Australia. Where on Earth did you come from?" she asked wonderingly. "Ryan, where did you find them?"

 

"In the attic, couple months after I moved in."

 

"Tiny people," Geoff blurted, unaware that he was parroting Ryan's initial reaction to meeting the Lads. Ryan laughed, moving back towards the table and gingerly setting the Lads down in front of his plate, placing his arm down in front of them so they could duck behind it if they felt threatened. Gavin snuggled immediately into the crook of his elbow, Ray right beside him. "I'm seeing tiny people." A panicked look entered Geoff's eyes. "Ryan, what the hell did you put in our food?"

 

"Nothing, I swear! They're real, Geoff, I promise," Ryan reassured him.

 

Geoff remained firmly unassured, his voice taking on a hint of hysteria. "I don't believe you. You've drugged us and we're hallucinating. They're not real. They can't be real."

 

"Hey, we're real!" Gavin piped up suddenly, sounded offended.

 

Geoff practically shrieked. _" _Why is it British?_ "_

 

" _He's_  British," Ryan stressed. "…I think. Not the point. They're people, Geoff."

 

After the initial shock and confusion, Griffon looked fascinated. "Where did they come from?"

 

"We dunno," Michael told her, climbing on top of Ryan's forearm and puffing his chest out defiantly, showing them that he wasn't afraid even though they were far larger than he was. "One minute we don't exist, the next we're in the attic."

 

Jack's lips were slightly pursed, a perplexed expression on his face. "How… how is this even possible?"

 

"I've stopped trying to explain it," Ryan replied as Gavin and Ray dared to join Michael. "I've just accepted that they're here, even though logic says they probably shouldn't be."

 

Geoff sat back in his chair, seeming a little shell-shocked. "Guessing that you made up the whole dead relative thing, then?"

 

Ryan grimaced. "Yeah, sorry about that. I didn't mean to bring the Lads up at all, and I panicked. Couldn't really tell you the truth without sounding like a whack-job."

 

Michael hopped off Ryan's arm and stomped over to Geoff, feeling oddly protective of their caretaker. "I think you're being kinda rude, but Ryan told us earlier we needed to be polite and stuff, so…" he stuck his hand out. "I'm Michael."

 

"Geoff," the moustachioed man replied in a daze, hesitating slightly before offering Michael a forefinger to shake. Michael's tiny hand didn't even fit around Geoff's finger, so Michael just gripped the tip of Geoff's nail and they shook, Michael's entire arm pumping up and down while Geoff's hand remained still except for his forefinger.

 

 _" _This is the cutest thing I've ever seen__ , _"_ Caiti breathed, eyes shining with happiness.

 

Griffon smiled. "They look like lovely boys, Ryan. You make a great dad."

 

Breaking out of their shyness, the two other Lads crept out from behind the sanctuary of Ryan's arm. Gavin immediately bounded across the table, darting from person to person as fast as his little legs would carry him, then returned to Griffon, seemingly enamoured by her soft voice. Michael and Ray introduced themselves at a more demure pace. Ray retreated to the safety of Ryan's arms once he was done, whereas Michael sidled up to Geoff, grudgingly admiring the larger man's tattoos.

 

"Those're cool," Michael told him, trying to look diffident as he jerked his thumb at the ink curling around Geoff's arms and hands.

 

Although a little uncertain, Geoff still smiled. "Thanks, man. You ever wanted some yourself?"

 

Michael was hesitant. "Yeah, but…" he gestured down at himself. "I don't think that'd work, for me."

 

"Mm. Good point. What would you get if you could?"

 

"Probably some video game stuff, I guess? Ryan lets us play his Xbox together, and I really enjoy that, so… probably something from Legend of Zelda, I dunno. Maybe something from the Gears of War series."

 

Geoff grinned. "You like Gears? No way!" And with that, they launched into conversation about the game series, Geoff now acclimatised to the absurdity of the situation.

 

Gazing out across the table and seeing his friends interacting so amicably with his tiny sort-of sons, Ryan couldn't help but let a relieved smile break out across his face. He'd had some small concerns that the others wouldn't react well to discovering the miniature twenty-somethings, and not only having those fears laid to rest, but also seeing the two groups hit it off so well, dissipated all that anxiety and left him feeling more light-hearted than he had in a very long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I imagine the Lad playing video games would mean all three of them gathered around the controller, with one controlling the left thumb stick and d-pad, another on the right thumb stick and the buttons, and the last sitting in front of the controller and reaching out to the sides to hit the triggers and bumpers.
> 
> I also imagine there'd be a lot of the Lads screaming at each other as they messed up over and over.


End file.
